Wow its noe February and how late it is with some updates...

Well, I finally moved to Wilm, DE. I was living in the boonies before. Work is great...alot of drama at work that does not concern me. However, I think the drama benefitted me.

I was surfing on Facebook, since I have not done so in a hot ass minute. Saw what people were doing with themselves and such. I felt like I had a brief update on people I know.

I am going to Boston for the weekend, a little anxious and a little happy. See some peeps and come right back. I like the coming back part.

Well, off I go to get packing...

Due to my comment...I realized I should give a short version up date.

Yes, I am still living in DE. I was going to move to either Baltimore or work in D.C. (but live in the MD area) however, in the mist of finding new employment after PADE (Public Allies) the DOC (Dept of Corrections) job fell on my lap and I gladly snatched it up...I think it was a calling and I answered it.

Now, since that part of my life as far as vocational is moving and putting my education on the back burner for a little...until I turn 25, I will return to school again...anyway I felt like I needed a change of scenery because where I moved to in DE was supposed to be short term and function like a retreat to gather my thoughts, heart, mind, and soul. I did it and now its time to move on and put my meditation and newly acquired life skills to practice.

So, since I really cant leave my job and doing so would be incredibly stupid....I mean I am doing so well,  I can become a Senior Counselor and be certified in my field in the 2 years I plan to be employed with this company.

So I decided to move closer Northern to DE. I found a place I like, affordable, but my student loans kicked in which is another headache and entry on its own.....I need to take a second job just for that.

To be continued......................................

Hello Xanga,

Well where to start.....I am finally moving and boy what a ride it has been. The start up costs for moving is kinda like a drama: from sketchy lease people and complexes to nice luxury places at outrageous prices.

to be continued............

Its been a minute

I know its been a while....Soooo much good to say actually alot more good than 'not so good.' The not so good comes from finances. My student loans kicked in and I could not run away from it for ever. Being poor after I still made double my first pay ( i was paid the highest AmeriCorps type cash, which is not much) its like my bills grew even more. I had all this money I owed to credit cards, loans from school, my car maintenance, gas, food, soon my insurance, of course rent, and more shit. Though, I am taking the H&R Block course to bring in some extra income and I think I am going to be a "big sister" to someone soon, and that will bring some extra income too, so we will see how it all folds.

now the good stuff... So yea I am an official counselor to inmates. I past my 90 day hurtle full of twists, bumps, curves, and attained goals. I think I am pretty outstanding...not to be cocky or anything....I mean I have lot to learn and more skills to master, but i am pretty damn good at my job. Its nice to be noticed by my superiors too about my efforts. My peers notice this as well, and sometimes I think it says something different when your peers give you props...of course the haterz come out the wood works. But of course (all those who know me)....I still "pop my collar" and "keep it movin..."

More good stuff...BC (of yea Class of 2005 baby) will cancel part of one of my loans (Perkins) for every year I work at my job. The percentage increases every other year, too bad I plan on returning to school after 2 years of working. But that was a blessing I prayed for and God placed it on my lap.

More and more good stuff...my landlord's boyfriend is pretty cool....so what does that have to do with me? No, its not a three some, get your mind out the gutter. He is fixing my bumper...yea I had a slight fender bender. Anyway he is saving me $800 to $1200....he is gonna fix it free of charge .....man, I was like "Dude, welcome to the family!"

You guessed it...some more good stuff...So I went to NY 2 weeks ago to see Nisha. She is too cute. I helped move her in on her birthday to Manhattan. It was fun and the place was cute. I am so proud of her. Guys, she's all grown up...awww. I love her. She's my friend.

More goodies, I drove down to Raleigh, NC and Jacksonville, NC with my homeboy DJ this past weekend. The good things is that we split the cost which was not bad at all. I realized that I have a really cool guy friend. I sat in the car with him for a total of 13 + hours (round trip) and he never got on my nerves once, nor I getting on his. I had a blast. I saw my favorite cuz in the world and met DJ's friend. Of course there are some issues on the trip concerning a few bad attitudes that do concern me of another guy, but thats for a later date...I'm still on the good stuff.

Being down there with some of my family, I was happy to see their beautiful home...it is sooo nice. What's even nicer is that there is actually true love in their home. I can feel it and I can't wait until that's me again. I decided from that momment, they are my living role models of true love.

Until then, I'll Holla,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME........its 11:43pm

Old Enough Birthday

Today is my birthday...its about 15 minutes before my day is over. I am not all too religious but I would like to thank God for giving me my extra year of breath to breathe, This has been an interesting year for me. I am a different person...I feel like I have comes some ways buts still have many people to know and love, places to see and care for, and causes to fight.

I do feel old though. I'm not even 30 and for the first time, I actually feel old. I got mad love on facebook today from many different people. I have yet to hear from others (like a few of my home girls...we date back to 6th, 7th, and high school). I am not upset...I'm just saying that I noticed that and not to say that I disregard everyone elses love....I appreciate it ALOT.....I guess I cant seem to articulate the way I feel so I will stop there.

Things Learned

When I turned 22, I was depressed, broken hearted, confused, excited for a new change a new move, homesick (just a lil, like caribbean food), poor, tired.

Now, I am happy.

I know for sure who I am and what I need to do- I always knew...but I surrounded myself with the wrong energy...and I know that now.

I'm ready to share my beautiful me...for real this time..."no play play" (in Britt's words)

I'm still poor...but I'm having fun with it!  (lets say I can budget my ass off...and still look great and feel it too)

I have options...I knew this too, fuck being a victim! (thats a given strength for me...a blessin

One minute left to share....

I have a center, I always did but I learn and know that people come around you sometimes to suck your energy...I learned to recognize this. People who are arrogant and conceited...do so b/c of strong insecurties inside...leave them alone! Run for the hills!

Those who have struggled and lived a life of pain (of many sorts tend to be the most passionate and hardworking people fighting for that cause). I am not saying that you have to go through that pain to empathize....anyone can empathize but no one can understand the complexity of the pain or struggle. Through Public Allies, I definitely saw this in many of my fellow Allie....Hmmm more on this later.

Goodnight..